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How to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Updated: May 21, 2021

Isn't it a shame that we have to be reminded to show our selves some love? Loving yourself might sound a little odd, but that doesn’t mean it's not deserved. The more you love yourself, the better you’ll take care of yourself...and the things and people you care most about. One of the best lessons I learned came from my children who, in the midst of a busy and hectic day while hastily rushing around to get from point A (karate lessons) to Point B (school play) we were at a drive thru and when I asked in stressed out motherly voice "whadda ya want?," and apologetic teenage voice came back with the response "for you to be happy." Holding back tears I thanked him, and from there a movement towards self discovery was made. Self- Love positively impacts your health, longevity, self-esteem, self-confidence, and success.


When you love yourself, you make yourself a priority. The results lead to everyone around you benefiting from the new energy and joyous interactions. You deserve to be made a big deal of and nothing less.


Here are a few things to try so that you may discover a greater self-love:


  1. SUCCESS STORIES! Remember your victories and shout them out. View yourself in a positive light more often. One of the easiest ways to do this is to remember your triumphs. Maybe you won the school talent show in 5th grade. Remember your graduation. Think about that time you received a promotion . Most people spend plenty of time remembering their failures. Try doing the opposite for a month or even just a week and see what happens!

  2. VOLUNTEER. Volunteering is a great way to boost your self-esteem. It’s easier to love yourself when you view yourself as a good person doing good things. Put your attention on someone else. You’ll enjoy the mental break, and your opinion of yourself will get a boost. You ARE a good person, so remind yourself of that every once in awhile.

  3. BE A GOOD FRIEND. You know how to be a good friend, but there are times that you’re not and you know it. Being a good friend makes you feel good about yourself. It will also improve the way your friends respond to you and treat you, too. Everyone wins when you decide to be a good friend.

  4. FORGIVE YOURSELF. You’ve made a some mistakes. Who hasn’t? However, it’s time to forgive yourself. We all need a break from feeling unworthy so give yourself a break. You would do the same for someone you care about, so now, I am inviting you to do it for yourself.

  5. PURSUE WHAT YOU NEED rather than what you want. What you want is rarely what you need. Once you’ve taken care of your needs, you’ll be in a better position to acquire what you want. Satisfying your needs ahead of your wants is a fantastic example of self-love.

  6. GET IN SHAPE. Take care of your body. WE KNOW THIS...When you’re eating poorly and not getting enough exercise, you’re harming yourself. Obviously, this isn’t a good example of self-love. Show yourself that you take your health seriously. WE GOT THIS! You’re loving yourself every time you eat a healthy meal or exercise your body.

  7. Appreciate your UNIQUENESS. We tend to be embarrassed about our qualities, skills, or abilities that are unique. However, the most valuable parts of you are those that are different from others. One day you will realize it is one of the things that people are most attracted to you for.

  8. PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Everyday is a great day to be grateful. Be grateful for your body, mind, and uniqueness. Be grateful for everything in your life. Your life is better than you think. You are better than you think. When you practice gratitude consistently, you’ll start to believe that you deserve more love from yourself.

  9. BE as KIND to yourself as you would be to anyone else. To be kinder to others than you are to yourself is just showing everyone, including yourself, that you don’t respect yourself. You are with you 24/7, so the best person to look out for you is you.


Self-love is an important part of your self-development. Without self-love, your success and happiness face huge obstacles.


Self-love is a skill that can be developed. Self Love is the result of an effective set of habits. Things you do daily or weekly on a consistent basis. Set aside some time each day to build your self-esteem and self-love. Your life will be better for it.


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